Over my years working as a Transformational Coach and Counsellor I can consistently say that the most common fundamental issue that causes human beings the most pain, struggle and challenges in life and within themselves is the belief that we are not enough as we are.
I AM NOT ENOUGH.
This belief causes so many problems. For everyone.
It causes us to constantly be living in a way that we must be anything other than ourselves, that we have to get something more than what we already have and it drives us to live in a way that we are regularly rejecting and not accepting who we already are right now. In the hope, that somewhere ‘out there’ someday I will find the one thing I need to finally enable me to feel at peace and worthwhile in who I am in this world.
This is a problem. And is having a massive impact on people’s mental health, wellbeing, emotional health and overall sense of self and worth in life.
And so, where did it come from and why are so many people struggling with it.
In my experience, there are two main contributors.
We learn this kind of programming from our pasts. Either from our parents, teachers, friends, guardians – we have been told, inherited or passed down beliefs from others and then translate it as our own beliefs about ourselves.
We also learn it from living in a society that is feeding us language constantly that we need to better ourselves all the time, look better, feel better, make more money, be more successful, have more, buy more…. The list is endless…. All with the promise that at the end we will somehow, someday feel and believe that we will finally be enough.
But here is the thing. And this is the most important thing you will hear this year.
These are beliefs. They are NOT WHO WE ARE.
And beliefs can change.
Recently when I gave birth to my second child, my son, on one of the many days of his early life when I was simply sitting staring at him all day long with adoration and love, I saw so clearly that this little being was born into this world so perfect as he is. He already knew he was enough because he already was. He was not trying to better himself or search for something else out there to make him feel good enough. He already knew that he was.
Every single one of us in this entire planet was born in the exact same way. We all came in to our lives and this world in this way. We are no different.
And so, the most common and important truth for each of us to learn from today onwards is this.
You are already enough. Right now. As you are.
Even if nothing else changes about you or in your life. You are already enough.
Your behaviour is what you do. It is not who you are.
Your thoughts are what you think. It is not who you are.
Your feelings are what you feel. It is not who you are.
No matter what you do, feel, think – who you are is already enough.
And so, if you were to let that in and let that be your new belief about yourself, how would that change how you live your day today? What would you do differently or what would you do less of?
We can actually call off the search – because we are already enough as we are right now.
And by knowing this we can relax. And then we can make choices about our life and what we want to do with it from a more grounded, conscious, loving place. We can do things in our life, not because we feel we need to prove that we are enough, but because we want to.
Here are some powerful exercises to help you start living from this I am already enough place more in your life:
Sit in a comfortable position with your back up straight and lower back supported.
Close your eyes and take two deep slow breathes into your body through your nose and exhale out through your mouth.
Then allow your breath to regulate in a slow natural rhythm.
Now say to yourself the mantra “I AM ALREADY ENOUGH AS I AM”
As you say the words slowly to yourself breathe in the feelings that come.
What does it feel like to feel already enough as you are?
As you continue to repeat the mantra slowly with intention, consciously breathe in the feeling of being already enough as you are into your heart, your abdomen and filling your whole body.
Continue this meditation for a minimum of 15-20min every single day.
This is powerful! It is like working a new muscle at the gym and needs to be consistent to get it strong. Not only are we creating a new belief system in the mind but a new vibration of emotion and feeling in the body. It is powerful and deeply healing.
In your journals I invite you to do this exercise. As yourself this question:
“If I were to believe that I am already enough as I am then what would I do differently in my day or my life?”
Is there anything you would stop doing?
Is there anything you would do more of?
Is there anything you would allow yourself to do that you are not allowing yourself to now?
Spend 10-20min writing in your journal the answers that come to you around these questions. You may be really surprised by what you hear and see.
I invite you to go for a walk. But this time as you are walking you will be walking with a specific focus and intention.
Go for a 20min walk somewhere quite and in nature if possible. But if that is not possible then even your walk to the tube or work would do. With every single step you take I want you to be saying the mantra to yourself “I am already enough as I am” and with every step you take I want you to be breathing in the feeling that comes with the mantra into your whole body.
Walk as if you already know that you are enough.
How does it change the way your body is carried by knowing you are enough?
How do you hold your head?
How do you interact with the people around you when you know you are already enough?
Walk slowly, with presence, intention and feel the mantra into your whole body.
Practice this walking meditation regularly. It can be really fun and also very powerful and healing as you start to experience yourself in a very new way.