When I feel my heart closing down after a fight with my lover, I stop for a moment and say to myself ‘Open Wide’.
When someone cuts me off at the traffic lights, honks his horn and gives me the finger out the window, and my immediate reaction is to flip him the bird right back, I stop, soften and open wide.
When I have just prepared the most delicious dinner with so much love, and I place it in front of Leo and he screws up his face and says ‘Gross, what’s that?’ and in that moment all I want to do is close off and cry, I take a deep breath, soften my heart and open wide.
When my parents trigger me, I soften and open wide.
When my girlfriend forgets my birthday and my Mean Girl tells me to ‘dump her’, I soften and open wide.
When I am mentally running through my to-do list while my lover is kissing my neck, I soften and open wide.
When my nephews want to play and all I want to do is check my emails, I let go, soften and open wide.
When the checkout assistant is going too slowly for my liking, and I feel the frustration building and my blood starts to boil, I soften and open wide.
When I’m in a rush and I run into my sweet elderly neighbour, who dearly wants two minutes of conversation and human contact, and yet my mind is pinging with tasks and reminders…
… you guessed it: I soften, and I open wide.
‘Open Wide’ has become my mantra, my philosophy, my guiding light… And it’s changed everything for me.
For too long, the opposite was my default reaction. Instead of opening wide, I’d shut down and close off — and NOTHING good ever comes from either of those two actions. Nothing! Every time I have shut down and closed myself off, I only end up hurting myself and delaying MY growth and MY evolution.
Of course, the thing is, shutting down is so easy. For many of us, it was the behaviour we saw modelled all throughout our childhoods — from our parents, teachers, friends, and neighbours. So we too learned to raise our hackles, don our armour, and deadlock the door to our hearts.
Opening wide — while a powerful, expansive, growth-inducing choice — is something most of us have to actively relearn… I know I definitely did.
Choosing to Open Wide when all we want to do is shut down is the key to spiritual growth and conscious evolution.
Like with most things in life, the path to change — that is, to staying open rather than closing off — begins with conscious awareness, and making a choice.
It might feel tricky at first, but stick with it — GOOD GODDESS it is worth it.
Nowadays I measure a ‘successful day’ by how soft I am in my heart and how open I am to other people and the flow of life. I ask myself, did I shut down today? Did I close myself off? This is my measure of success.
By doing the work, it’s now become my go-to response. So when I feel my Mean Girl start to whisper her fear-based nonsense to me, I say it to myself… Open Wide, Melissa. When expectations barge into my head and block me from the present moment… Open Wide.
When shame or fear cause me to contract and shrink… Open Wide. When I’m stuck in my egoic energy and start barking orders at Leo or Nick… Open Wide. When I’m hiding my Truth from Nick (or anyone for that matter), demanding that he somehow read my mind… Open Wide. And when I’m lying in bed in the arms of my man, and all I can think about are the things I didn’t tick off my to-do list… Open Wide.
These two little words have become a powerful catalyst to springboard me back to love (OUR TRUTH), softness, warmth and openness. They soften my sometimes very hard and very prickly edges. They reconnect me with my divine feminine. They melt me into the present moment. They raise me to be the best version of myself and they bring me home to my Truth.
My wish is that these two words become a powerful anchor for you too — a potent, ease-filled tool you can use whenever you catch yourself out of alignment and are desiring a return to Love
When you feel yourself not in your heart, closed off or shutting down, I encourage you to stop for a second, place your hands over your heart, take a few deep breaths, soften, tune in to your inner wisdom, and allow the energy of the present moment to flow through you whilst repeating your new mantra: Open Wide.
For me, whenever I accept this invitation in my own life and allow myself to Open Wide, the insight, wisdom, creativity and energy that follow never fail to instantly change my state, to uplift and inspire me to new levels. I still find myself astonished how such a simple action — consciously opening yourself up to what is — can have such powerful, profound results.
So, beautiful — are you ready to accept this loving invitation for yourself?
Are you ready to take your life, relationships, and lovemaking to new heights?
Are you ready to Open Wide?
If you’re feeling called to take your life and relationships to the next level, I encourage you to put this new mantra into practice. And for all the details, insights and aha’s on how to wholeheartedly embody this philosophy, pre-order my forthcoming book Open Wide: The Radically Real Guide To Deep Love, Rocking Relationships and Soulful Sex now.